


Bro, This is Seriously Wrong

by Hawkriver



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Character Death, Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, M/M, Murder, Self-Harm, Sibling Incest, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-21
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2017-12-26 19:13:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/969299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawkriver/pseuds/Hawkriver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bro's basically abandoned Dave for two years and he can't take it any more. Dave attempts to commit suicide, but isn't successful... Then, like, stuff happens... uh, idk... Yeah, not good at summaries, sorry ^-^"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Short chapter, I know.  
> Sorry.

**Your name is Dave Strider and your older brother is nowhere to be found. It's not that big of a surprise, really. He's almost never home any more, leaving you to your own devices. The little time he is home, he's either sleeping or on the roof, awaiting your arrival for another strife. It's also a common thing for him to come home drunk and that was never fun.**

 ----

Dave stared at his computer screen, trying to pass time by making another SBaHJ comic. He succeeded in killing a whole ten minutes and gave himself a silent, sarcastic congratulations. With a heavy sigh, the Strider stood up, relocating to the dark and cluttered living room.

It was around midnight and as previously stated, Bro was still not home. He sighed softly, sitting down on the floor in front of the wide TV, which was playing a strange, colorful cartoon that he stared at but didn't actually pay attention to. He sat there, completely still for another hour before he heard the door slam against the wall, signaling his brother's arrival. With slow movements, Dave turned his head to watch an angry figure walk inside, leaving the door wide open. The younger, smaller Strider sat extremely still, hoping to not catch his brother's attention. Of course, that was impossible considering he was sitting right in front of the futon that Bro normally slept on.

Bro froze, staring at Dave as if he couldn't believe he was sitting there. Dave raised a hand unenthusiastically and spoke in a monotonous manner. "Hey."

"What the hell, Dave, why are you still awake? It's like one in the fucking morning." Came the growled response of Bro as he glared little, burning holes right through the teen.

"Couldn't sleep"

"Bullshit."

Dave glared at him from his position on the floor, refusing to back down and retreat to his room. "Fine, I was waiting for you to come home. Excuse me for actually wanting to see my goddamn brother every once in a while."

Bro pinched the bridge of his nose, obviously more annoyed than he had been at first. He walked past Dave and sat down before he responded, voice sounding much calmer than before. "Go to bed, Dave."

"Bu-"

The younger's voice was cut off by a menacing growl from Bro. "Just go."

Red eyes locked onto orange as they stared eachother down for a good ten minutes before Dave stood and relocated to his room. He sat down on the edge of his bed and listened to Bro moving around in the living room. Things had been like this for a few years now. The only time Dave ever got to be near his brother, the atmosphere was always so tense. The teen fell back on the bed and let his thoughts wander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the next chapter will be up soon! I already have a few of them written out. But I have to type them on my laptop, which of course likes to kick me off all the time and just.. *frustrated noises*


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhm, yeah.. So if your easily triggered by cutting and shit, I'd advise you not to read...

 

 

  _A small child's laugh rang through the apartment as he was carried on the shoulders of his spiky haired brother. His small hands rested on the top of Dirk's head, fingers tangled in the soft blond hair._  

_The teenager was running around the living room, making airplane sounds. Dirk only let his cool down for Dave back then and this fact made the kid even happier. After a few more seconds of this, Dave was set down on the couch, followed by his brother. Dirk leaned over to the kid and gave him a gentle kiss on the head._

_"Your getting too big for that, lil man." He told him with a small, but genuine laugh._               

_\----_

A small, saddened smile crept onto the young Strider's face as he remembered the good days. The days before the two started drifting apart. With a quiet sigh, Dave stood and walked over to his bedroom door, peeking out. Bro was laying on the futon, back to the hallway. Unintentionally, Dave watched him for a few long minutes, silently wishing he could be in there as well, sleeping in his brother's warm embrace. The blond shook his head, knowing that would never happen again.

He crept into the bathroom and shut the door quietly behind him. Red eyes instantly snapped to the sink, then up to the mirror. Dave stepped over to it and stared at his reflection, hardly recognizing himself. His blond hair was an absolute mess and his shades were long gone, resting  
somewhere on the floor in his room. He made a mental note to find them tomorrow, knowing they were really the only reason he could even look at people straight on.

The teen sighed, wiping his red eyes clear of what may or may not be a few tears, and reaching for the mirror. With the loudest damn creak possible, Dave grabbed the edge of the mirror and pulled it out to reveal a small medicine cabinet. He froze, eyes wide as he listened for the sound of Bro waking up. For the first time ever, Dave was immensely glad for the alcohol in his brother's system, because the usually light sleeper stayed deep asleep.

Dave released a quiet sigh and shifted some of his stuff around until he found exactly what he had been looking for. A look of deep, dark depression coated the blond’s face as he pulled out the oh-so familiar brown ring box.

A few months after Bro started distancing himself; Dave had found the box and cleared out all the padding so that he had an unsuspicious container for the sharp razor blades he had obtained. Every night he spent alone, which was pretty much every single night these days, and every night Bro shoved him off like he would rather drink bleach than look at his younger brother, Dave would add yet another, just one other cut to his collection.

Over the course of the past two years, his arms have become so littered with scars that they were just barely even recognizable as arms. A single tear fell from the Strider's usually emotionless crimson eyes as he opened the box and reached his index finger and thumb inside of it to retract a shiny metal object that had previously been nestled inside.

He tossed the small box to the floor and sat down next to the shower. He faintly heard Bro walking through the hallway and he jumped up to lock the door, something he really should have done as soon as the door clicked shut. He sat back down in his previous position and stared at the blade in his hand for what seemed like hours (it was really only a minute and a half) before shoving his left sleeve up. With slight difficulty, Dave located an area with the least scars and pressed the sharp edge to his skin, whimpering softly when a bead of blood surfaced.

A sharp pain ran up his arm as he drug the razor blade across his skin and he welcomed it with open arms. He was tempted to continue, prolong the pain and adrenaline pulsing through him, but forced himself to stop. Not only did he have a _'just one'_ rule set in place, he also was fairly sure he'd accidentally nicked a major vein, due to the fact that the crimson fluid was spilling out faster than normal. Instead of freaking out like any sane person would, Dave stood calmly and allowed the blood to flow and drip to the floor.

He walked over to the sink and leaned against it, head down and eyes locked on the faucet. He slowly reached out and turned on the cold water, immediately sticking his arm underneath the steady stream. It did manage to slow down the blood flow, but only barely. Dave reached into the medicine cabinet in front of him and pulled out a roll of gauze. He pulled his arm from the water to wrap the new wound as best he could with only one hand.

Once he'd managed to get the end of the gauze to temporarily stick, he got two bandage clips and clipped them on to hold the damn thing in place. After finishing with that, Dave moved over to a pile of towels, picking out the one that was already bloodstained and using it to wipe the blood from any surface that it had managed to drip on.

The towel was thrown back into the pile almost angrily before Dave finally emerged from the bathroom. The bleeding had slowed, thankfully, but the blood loss had left him dizzy and slightly uncoordinated. His luck continued with the revelation that he would have to pass Bro's open door in this state. Fucking great.

Dave took a deep breath, hoping silently that his brother had fallen asleep. He walked slowly and unsteadily with his head hung, straight past the door. Predictably, Bro was fucking awake and watching his every nervous, clumsy move with what Dave just knew was disapproval. His head ducked even lower and hurried to his room as soon as he'd cleared the danger zone. 

Constant movement had worsened his already hell-worthy, dizzy headache, so he sped up even more once entering his room. He'd been through this and worse before, so he knew that he needed to at least make it to the bed. The impact with the floor would only create more issues. The Strider nearly collapsed before he could make it to the comfort of his matress, but he somehow managed the last few steps and fell to the bed. Almost immediately after his head hit the pillow, he passed out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing is so awkward omg

 Dave didn't wake up until 3:00pm two fucking days later. All energy he normally had after waking up was practically nonexistant and his dizzy headache was ten times worse than when he was last conscious. It was a miracle the kid could even open his eyes without passing out again, but he somehow managed it. Once open, his eyes traveled down his body to his bandaged arm to find a small dot of blood had seeped through the top of two layers of the thick gauze. He slowly moved his hand in small circles, breaking up some of the dried blood and consequently seperating his wrist from the bandage. He would have hissed in pain if he'd had the energy.

The soft sound of a door greeted Dave just as he was forcing himself up into a sitting position. Seems he wasn't the only one who slept in. A soft grunt weaseled its way out as the young Strider attempted and failed to stand. He uncerimoniously flopped back on the mattress and stared up at the white, textured ceiling.

This was so many levels of uncool, what he was doing. He felt like a major disappointment to Bro, even though the older had no clue about Dave's cutting problem. How could he?

The sound of a second, heavier door. Bro was gone again. Just like that. No warning. No checking in on his brother. No anything. It wasn't even remotely surprising anymore, but the heart-wrenching pain did nothing but grow every day.

\----

Two hours later, Dave felt at ease enough in the empty apartment to risk venturing from his small, cluttered safe haven. He stood despite the horrible weariness that was still trying to drag him back down to the soft, warm bed, then slowly made his way from the room to the hallway.

The atmosphere felt much more inviting when Dave was alone. He still felt miserable, of course, but at least he could walk around without having to fear an attack at every corner he turned. 

The plush carpet muffled his footsteps as he half stumbled to the bathroom. Once inside, the teenager went immediately over to the small trash can and held his breath as he very slowly peeled the bandaging away from his marred skin. The pale skin on his nose wrinkled up a bit in disgust as he silently examined the bloody mess that was his arm. Dave took a deep breath a few seconds later and forced his jumbled thoughts right the fuck out of his head so that he could focus entirely on his actions.

The teenager then moved slowly to the sink and turned the cold water knob just enough that a small trickle of the clear liquid began to stream from the faucet. Another deep breath. Dave stood still for a few moments- just watching the water flow as he mentally prepared himself for what he found to be one of the most painful things about cleaning up his own wounds. Sometimes it didn't seem worth it and he would literally stand there and stare for hours, but other times such as today, it only took him a couple of minutes. He let out a breath and placed his arm in the water and began to scrub off the old, dried up blood.

Soon enough, his arm was clean enough and he could delay it no longer. His red eyes moved to the medicine cabinet and he reached up to open it, then reluctantly retrieved the rubbing alcohol. He would have used something much better suited for his cuts, but they had only kept this shit in the house since Bro stopped truly caring about Dave's injuries. To be honest, he didn't give a flying fuck whether or not his arms got infected, but he knew if they did, he'd have a lot of explaining to do when he couldn't move right during the next strife.

Just as the teen was unscrewing the cap, he heard the front door open. What the ever-living  _fuck_ was Bro doing home now? He shook his head dismissively and carried on with his business- grabbing a washcloth from nearby and dampening it with the alcohol. With a set jaw and tense muscles, Dave put the cloth against his skin- a soft hiss immediately sounding when the alcohol seeped through the several open areas on his arm. The young male gently rubbed his skin for maybe twenty seconds, then tossed away the rag and slowly began to put away the bottle perched on the side of the sink.

Not two seconds after the medicine cabinet had been shut, the bathroom door flew open- the fairly old hinges groaning in protest at the sudden movement. Dave froze in place with his exposed arm outstretched, panic running through his veins and turning them to ice.

_shitshitshitshitSHIT_.

Well... if Bro didn't know about his cutting problem before, he sure as hell did now.

The younger of the two Striders very slowly lowered his arm and turned to face his brother; face perfectly blank if you don't count his rather wide, exposed eyes. Despite how desperately he wanted to run and hide, he found himself rooted to the spot with his eyes glued to Bro's face.

Bro was the first to move- reaching out and snatching Dave's arm. He pulled Dave roughly toward himself so that he could inspect the skin closely and for maybe half a second, the teen could have sworn he saw concern on the older's face. Whether or not it did truly happen, the young male didn't find out because just as quickly as he had appeared, Bro was gone again. Fucking shocker. He heard a door click shut and sighed, knowing damn well he probably wouldn't see his brother again for hours... maybe even days.

With a shake of his head, Dave moved to the shower and started the water. He shut the door and slowly undressed as he waited for the water to heat up, stepping in the second it reached just the right level of liquid hell. Instead of actually showering, the teenager sat down in the stream of steaming water and curled up. He wrapped his arms tightly around his legs and let his head hang down- forehead resting on one knee. Dave stayed in that exact position for the rest of the day, not even caring when the water turned ice cold or when his back went from fine to completely numb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry  
> I did not mean to take this long  
> I'm just really good at procrastinating and forgetting  
> And whenever I do get on, I can't think of what to write  
> ehh  
> sorry


	4. Chapter 4

Three weeks passed since the incident in the bathroom and Dave hadn't seen his brother for even a damned second. He sure fucking heard him, though. Ever since Bro walked in on the younger, there seemed to be a dramatic increase in drinking and one-night stands. Finally, Dave could stand this shit no fucking longer.

The next day was spent pacing his room as he tried to get up the nerve to actually confront Bro. Needless to say, the teen never really felt ready for it, but he still forced himself out of the room when two in the morning finally rolled around. Dave sat himself on the futon and waited nervously for his brother to come home. Roughly an hour later, the front door swung open and two forms stumbled into the room and toward the hallway, tangled together in a desperate kiss.

Much to his surprise, Dave felt a strange anger flare up inside of him at the sight and he immediately stood up. Neither of the two stopped what they were doing, so the teen, in a rush of sudden confidence, stalked over and angrily yanked the small brunette woman away from Bro. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but it seems like you won't be getting any tonight. I'll give you some money for the ride home." He said in a very obviously faked, apologetic voice. The young male swiftly plucked his wallet from his pocket and handed her some money. He gave her a gentle push toward the door after she took the cash and watched as she half confusedly, half angrily stumbled right back out. Once the girl was gone, he turned to his brother who, even though he wore no expression, Dave could tell was _extremely_ pissed.

 "What the _hell_ was that?" Bro asked in a eerily calm voice, his eyes narrowing slightly at the younger Strider. 

Dave stared at him for a moment and took in a slow, deep breath. "Uh... I..." He said quietly, suddenly forgetting exactly what his main objective for that morning actually was. He hesitated for a moment, then spoke once again, "I don't know..."

"You don't know?" The older's words came out as a harsh growl and actually managed to make Dave flinch a little; Not that he'd admit to doing it.

Dave watched the man cautiously for a moment, then started slowly toward the hall to his room. However, the second he got past Bro, his arm was grabbed harshly and he was yanked back hard enough for him to be sent to the ground. The young male let out a soft sound of pain, not because of the contact with the floor, but rather because that yank had reopened a few of his newest cuts. Motherfucker. He felt a faint anger burn somewhere within him, but he couldn't bring himself to feed that fire. This was his damn fault, after all. He deserved this particular confrontation. First with the bathroom incident and now this blatant show of weakness and emotion... It's like he was asking to be disowned. Striders don't fucking act like this. What was wrong with him?

Dave looked up at Bro with a half-assed expression of nonchalance. The second his eyes met his brother's face, he knew his answer to that question. It was everything. Everything was fucking wrong with him. He was absolutely and irrevocably in love with his own brother. Wait, holy shit, did he really just admit that? He thought on that for only few seconds before he was yanked back to reality as Bro brought him roughly to his feet. He stared at the man unblinking as he got closer. He wanted to say something so bad, but honestly, he was scared fucking shitless right now and he didn't know what he could say even if his body would actually allow it. Nothing was said for several minutes which only made the teen's anxiety so much worse. Eventually Bro pushed him back a bit with a soft grunt. He looked away for a moment, then swiftly looked back at Dave and threw a punch at the boy's face as hard as he could.

 

Dave stumbled back and moved a hand numbly to his mouth because he was pretty sure he was bleeding now. He touched his lower lip gingerly and pulled it away to find, unsurprisingly, blood smeared on his fingertips. He shivered quite obviously and put his hand back down, looking up when he heard his older brother chuckle darkly. 

 

"Oh look at that. Davey can't take a fucking hit. Damn, and here I thought I was raising a fucking man, not some sissy little girl." He shook his head when the teen responded with a weak 'fuck you' and stepped closer. "I'd watch that fucking mouth, kid, you just sent away a girl I spent hours convincing to come home with me. You don't fucking want to test me right now." The man wanted nothing more than to shove that little asshole against the wall and kick the crap out of him. He really wasn't entirely sure why he was restraining himself.

 

Dave swallowed thickly and stood up a little straighter. "You're fucking ridiculous. you know that?" He asked quietly, unable to stop the words from coming out. "Y'know, maybe I wouldn't have been so inclined to ruin your night if you'd just fucking spend time with me every now and then." God what was he saying?  _Shut up shut up SHUT UP_. "You're my brother, you fucking dick, would it kill you to at least _**look**  _at me sometimes? Say hey or something on the rare occasions we end up in the same room for a few seconds? I mean, seriously, what did I fucking do to you that makes you hate me so much?" He let's out an angry breath just as Bro starts moving closer. The man pauses briefly when he's only about a foot and a half away. That's the last thing Dave remembers when he wakes up in the hospital several days later. _  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so long overdue.  
> I am so sorry.  
> Also the next chapter will be longer, I swear.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit I am a terrible author I am so so sorry for taking so long  
> Life shit keeps getting in the way and I will admit  
> I actually forgot about this website about four or five months ago  
> But I'm back now and hopefully I can get this thing under control  
> However, don't be shocked if updates still come in a little bit slow  
> My house burnt down a short while ago so we're in the process of possession repairs and moving  
> I doubt we'll be settled for at least another month or two..

Dave's eyes blinked open and the first thing he did was flinch, whine, and close his eyes again. Why was it so damned bright in here? He laid there for a few moments before moving his hands up to rub at his eyes a bit. Fuck his head hurt. and so did his arms, and his sides, and his, well, everything. He opened his eyes again and struggled to sit up- his pupils still struggling to adjust to the sudden exposure to light. The young man looks around the small room and shifts a little as he slowly realizes where he was; it was mainly the beeping of the stupid heart monitor that made everything click. What the hell happened to him? He let out a heavy breath and leaned back against the wall just as the door opened. He looked over, expecting it to be a nurse or something, but to his surprise it was one of his old friends that he hadn't spoken to in nearly a year.

John came closer as his dumb grin stretched across his face- relief flooding his features. "Dave... You're finally awake." He said happily. The strider rolled his eyes at that and shifted with a soft grunt that totally wasn't due to pain. Not at all.

"Really? Man, I hadn't noticed. Thanks for telling me this shocking information." He said, voice dripping with sarcasm as he stretched. Dave did this purely to show his friend that he wasn't in such bad pain that he could do as such. It didn't go over well as the second he did this, a very faint whine-like sound weaseled it's way out of the blond. As if that wasn't bad enough, the fucking heart monitor had to go and give it away- loudly at that. Stupid ass technology. "No offense, dude, but why the fuck are you here? I didn't even think you remembered me. It has been almost a year, after all."

John hummed at that and nodded. "It has, but that doesn't mean I stopped being your friend, and friends are always there for each other when times get rough." He paused and got a chair to drag it closer so that he could sit down. "So when I got the call saying you were here, of course I came." The dark haired teen smiled at Dave, which led to the other sighing heavily. 

"Aw, you're so sweet Egbert. I can feel you rotting my teeth from here.." Dave snorted and shifted again. After a moment, he hummed a little and a look of confusion, anger, and depression darkened his features. "Wait, who brought me here and called you..? I know for certain it wasn't Bro. No way in hell he cares enough about me to do either of those things." His red eyes finally rested on John's face for more than two seconds and he could immediately tell that the question unsettled his friend.

"It was the CPS.. Apparently someone in the apartment building heard the commotion and called them. They haven't found your brother yet, but I'm sure they won't exactly reward him when they do catch him."

"The CPS? As in the fucking Child Protective Services? Who the hell do they think they are, butting into our business. I'm old enough to handle my damn self without the government pushing their snoopy little noses into my shit. If you talk to them again before I get a chance to, tell them I said to fuck off and let me handle _my_ life." The other emotions had vanished from his face, replaced with a burning fire of anger and hatred. He honestly wasn't even angry with the people who were just doing their jobs, he was just angry at himself for being so weak that the government had to get involved. Pathetic. 

John looked a bit worried and a little shocked at the outburst, immediately making Dave feel a teensy bit bad. It's not like he was yelling at the other, though, so who really cared, right? John cleared his throat a little, causing Dave to snap back to attention. "No, I'm not going to tell government workers to fuck off for you. I really think you should just let them handle this one, Dave. You're obviously not fit to deal with your brother alone no matter how tough you try to act." The male then stood and put the chair back to where he got it and started to the door. "You should think about your own well-being at least this once because I really don't feel like watching another one of my friends get killed because they were too afraid to stand up to someone they love. I don't care what you think about your deservance. You don't deserve any of this and it's not selfish to get yourself out of a toxic environment." Without letting Dave respond, the male walked out and shut the door despite having been there for only a few short minutes. The atmosphere in the room had just gotten too heavy and he was being hurried by his dad anyway.

Inside the room, Dave had laid back down and was thinking over John's words. He knew the guy was right, but that didn't make it any easier to accept. The Strider sighed silently and closed his eyes, willing himself back to sleep despite the horrible pain pulsing through his body. Bro had definitely taken a toll on him, that's for certain.

**\--------------------**

 After about another week, the hospital released Dave to the CPS and despite his many protests, they relocated him to a new home until everything got sorted out. He was pissed, but he knew it was what they thought was best so he didn't protest too much since it wouldn't have made a damn difference. 

The family he was assigned didn't seem too bad at first. There was a nice couple with two other foster kids- one teen boy named Alex and one female toddler named Hannah. They had a nice looking house and a gorgeous german shepherd. All in all, they looked like a poster family for child care services, and actually the couple was that way. The teen boy on the other hand, as Dave fairly quickly found out, was not so great.


End file.
